Discover the transformative journey through ADHD with A Journey to a Valiant Mind by Valerie McIntyre, coming March 2025. Empowering stories, practical tools, and a path to self-compassion await.
I’m thrilled to announce the upcoming release of my debut book, A Journey to a Valiant Mind: Navigating ADHD Towards Resilience, Self-Compassion, and Empowerment, scheduled for publication in March 2025.
This book is more than just a personal accomplishment—it’s a deeply meaningful project born from years of experience and passion. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I’ve dedicated my career to supporting individuals as they navigate the often-misunderstood complexities of ADHD. As a mother, I’ve experienced firsthand the daily dance of balancing the joys and challenges of raising a family, while managing my own needs. And as someone living with ADHD, diagnosed later in life, I’ve walked the path of self-discovery, learning how to transform what once felt like barriers into sources of strength.
This book is my way of connecting with you, the reader. It is a product of my professional insights, personal experiences, and a deep desire to make ADHD—and its far-reaching impact—better understood. Writing A Journey to a Valiant Mind allowed me to reflect on the shared struggles and triumphs of those I’ve worked with in therapy, as well as my own journey of embracing self-compassion and resilience.
What This Book Offers
This isn’t just another ADHD self-help book. It’s a companion, a guide, and a bridge between understanding and action. Within its pages, I’ve combined storytelling, therapeutic insights, and actionable tools to create an experience that resonates on a deeply human level. You’ll find yourself walking into the therapy room through relatable stories, exploring the intricacies of emotional regulation, executive functioning, relationships, and self-identity.
Reflection questions at the end of each chapter provide a space for introspection, while practical worksheets help you turn understanding into tangible progress. My goal was to create a resource that doesn’t just tell you what ADHD is, but shows you how to navigate it, manage its challenges, and harness its unique strengths.
Why This Book Matters to Me
When I think about the inspiration behind this book, I always return to the lessons I’ve drawn from two impactful works: Irvin Yalom’s Love’s Executioner and Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. These books wove psychological wisdom into deeply personal narratives, creating a connection that was as emotional as it was intellectual. They showed me that the power of storytelling can make even the most complex concepts accessible and transformative. I aspired to do the same, combining clinical expertise with my personal journey to create a resource that empowers readers to take ownership of their stories.
In writing this book, I wanted to go beyond the surface-level understanding of ADHD. I wanted to delve into its connections to co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, and trauma—areas that often remain in the shadows. I also wanted to challenge the narrative of ADHD as a limitation and instead show how it can be a lens for self-discovery and growth.
A Resource for All
Whether you’re someone living with ADHD, a loved one seeking to better understand the condition, or a mental health professional looking for actionable strategies, A Journey to a Valiant Mind offers insights and tools for transformation. It’s not just about surviving the challenges of ADHD—it’s about thriving, finding resilience, and embracing the journey toward self-compassion and empowerment.
Join Me in This Journey
As we count down to the release in March 2025, I invite you to walk this path with me. I’ll be sharing updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes moments along the way. My hope is that this book becomes a trusted companion for anyone navigating ADHD, offering not only strategies but also validation and connection.
Thank you for being part of this transformative journey. Together, we can redefine what it means to navigate ADHD and embrace the resilience within us all. Stay tuned for updates, and I can’t wait to share this labor of love with you!
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At Valiant Minds Counseling, we understand that individuals with ADHD may struggle with a concept known as “time blindness”. This refers to the difficulty that individuals with ADHD may have in accurately perceiving and planning for the passage of time. As a result, individuals with ADHD may have difficulty with time management, planning, and completing tasks within a specific timeframe.
Time blindness can manifest in various ways, such as difficulty in estimating how long a task will take, procrastination, and being consistently late. This can lead to feelings of stress and frustration, not only for the individual with ADHD, but also for those around them.
One of the reasons for time blindness in individuals with ADHD is that the brain regions responsible for time perception, such as the prefrontal cortex, may not function as effectively in individuals with ADHD. This can lead to difficulty in processing and understanding time-related information.
However, there are strategies that individuals with ADHD can use to improve their perception of time and better manage their time. One strategy is to use a timer or a stopwatch to break tasks into smaller chunks of time. This can help individuals with ADHD to better estimate the amount of time a task will take and to stay on track.
Another strategy is to use a planner or calendar to plan and prioritize tasks. This can help individuals with ADHD to visualize their schedule and to better plan for the future.
Using visual aids such as a timer or calendar can also be helpful for individuals with ADHD. Visual aids can provide a clear and concrete representation of time, which can be more effective for individuals with ADHD than abstract concepts of time.
At Valiant Minds Counseling, our trained therapists can work with individuals with ADHD to develop a personalized plan for improving their perception of time and better managing their time. We also recommend these videos as a resource for learning more about time blindness and strategies to cope with it:
“Time Blindness and ADHD” by Dr. Russell Barkley, a renowned expert on ADHD
“ADHD and Time Management” by ADDitude, a website that provides information and resources on ADHD
“The Time-Blindness of ADHD” by Dr. Ned Hallowell, another expert on ADHD
In conclusion, “time blindness” is a common challenge for individuals with ADHD, which can impact their ability to manage time, plan and complete tasks. However, with the right strategies and support, individuals with ADHD can improve their perception of time and better manage their time. At Valiant Minds Counseling, we are committed to helping our patients with ADHD to overcome this challenge and lead fulfilling and productive lives.
Cognitive distortion is a term used to describe the ways in which our mind can misinterpret and twist information in a way that can lead to negative thoughts and emotions. One common cognitive distortion is personalization, which is when people take personal offense to the actions or comments of others.
Personalization can manifest in a variety of ways. For example, someone might take a co-worker’s criticism as a personal attack, instead of as constructive feedback. Or, someone might believe that their partner’s bad mood is a direct reflection of their own behavior. Personalization can also manifest as feeling responsible for negative events that happen around you, even if they have nothing to do with you.
Personalization is often rooted in feelings of low self-worth, insecurity and self-doubt. People who have a tendency to personalize may have a tendency to blame themselves for things that are not their fault, and may have a hard time accepting compliments or positive feedback. Personalization can also be a defense mechanism, as it can be a way of avoiding taking responsibility for negative events, by externalizing the cause.
Personalization can be damaging, as it can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy. It can also lead to conflict in relationships and can make it harder for people to receive constructive feedback.
However, personalization can be addressed and overcome. One way to cope with personalization is to practice mindfulness, which can help people to be more aware of their thoughts and emotions, and to see things more objectively. Mindfulness can also help people to understand that other people’s behavior is not a reflection of their own worth or abilities.
Another strategy to cope with personalization is to develop a healthy self-esteem. By focusing on your strengths and accomplishments, and surrounding yourself with people who support and encourage you, you can learn to see yourself in a more positive light.
It’s also important to learn to separate fact from fiction. When personalizing, people tend to interpret things in a certain way that isn’t accurate. By asking yourself, “Is this really true?” or “Is there another way to look at this situation?”, you can learn to see things more objectively.
Another strategy is to communicate openly and honestly with the person who is giving criticism. By asking them to explain what they meant or intended, and trying to see things from their perspective, you can learn to understand where the person is coming from.
Finally, practice self-compassion, treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that you would offer to a good friend. Recognize that it’s normal to feel upset when receiving criticism and that it’s not a reflection of your worth as a person.
Personalization is a common cognitive distortion that can be addressed and overcome. By using these strategies, people can learn to see things more objectively and reduce the tendency to take things personally. Remember that personalization is a habit, and like any habit, it can be changed with time and practice.
Hosts: Nikki Kinzer, a certified coach and online course creator; Pete Wright, a broadcaster and ‘tech geek’
Perfect for people who: appreciate light humor; enjoy conversational interviews and—especially those with ADHD experts and mental health professionals; need full episode transcripts.
Some of the topics covered in this podcast’s massive collection of 500+ episodes include analysis paralysis, ADHD burnout, and accountability partners.
We recommend starting with these episodes:
START HERE: Welcome to The ADHD Podcast – May 6, 2022
The Trouble with Transitions: Task-Switching and ADHD – September 21, 2021
Imposter Syndrome, Rejection Sensitivity, and Your ADHD with Mallory Band – April 12, 2021
Host: Sarah Snyder, former journalist with late-diagnosed ADHD
Perfect for people who: enjoy interviews with people from all walks of life, but especially scientists and mental health professionals; identify as a woman; don’t mind occasionally choppy audio.
Some of the topics covered on Sarah’s podcast include reproductive health comorbidities, like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD); post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); and gender bias in medical research and ADHD diagnoses.
Our episode recommendations:
Ep. 73 | Neurodivergence & Transitioning: Anna Grunseth shares her story
Ep. 75 | Racism in Healthcare: A Conversation with Sonia Lewis
Ep. 86 | Untangling Trauma & ADHD with Candace Baker
Host: Katy Weber – social media influencer, mother, and entrepreneur with late-diagnosed ADHD
Perfect for people who: identify as a woman;received their diagnosis later in life (i.e. not childhood); appreciate conversational (and hilarious) interviews; need full transcripts.
Episodes tend to revolve around common ADHD comorbidities or social issues, such as Hashimoto’s disease, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and destigmatizing mental health and ADHD.
Recommended episodes:
Ep. 60 | ADHD & our insatiable appetite for planners
Ep. 85 | Tennille Boyer: Life with a ‘Type A’ partner
Ep. 90 | Laura Key: Anxiety, perfectionism, and ADHD “a-ha” moments
Hosts: ADHD coaches, Cameron Gott and Shelly Collins
Perfect for people who: are looking for motivation; enjoy listening to conversational and educational podcasts; don’t require full transcripts.
Topics tend to revolve around positivity, self-advocacy, and empowerment, and include discussions about things like shifting your mindset, resilience, and engaging in self care.
Recommended episodes:
Hyperfocus and navigating big cognitive signals with ADHD – April 5, 2021
Navigating romantic relationships with ADHD – June 14, 2021
Emotions and stories: getting to what is real with ADHD – May 30, 2022
Perfect for women who: are searching for an ADHD community to join; enjoy interviews with average women with ADHD; received their diagnosis later in life (i.e. not childhood); view their ADHD as a superpower, as opposed to a ‘disorder’; need full transcripts Some of the topics covered on this podcast include body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs), hormones, and attending graduate school with ADHD.
Popular episodes among fans:
Ep. 19 | ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)
Ep. 114 | ADHD, women, and hormones
Ep. 132 | ADHD and trauma with psychotherapist, Denese Marshall
Host: Amy Morin, clinical therapist and editor-in-chief at Verywell Mind
Perfect for people who: enjoy light humor; prefer lecture-style podcasts; are looking for quick tips; don’t require full transcripts Topics that are covered on this podcast include things like imposter syndrome, trauma and healing from trauma, and self-compassion.
Episodes we recommend:
Ep. 88 | Friday Fix: How to stop sabotaging yourself
Ep. 133 | Friday Fix: How to stop being a people-pleaser
Host: Penny Williams, author of award-winning books and a certified parenting coach
Perfect for: parents of kids with ADHD and/or autism—especially if you’re nervous and looking for empowerment; people who need full transcripts Topics covered on this podcast include vacationing with neurodiverse kids, daily affirmations, and creative parenting.
Recommended episodes:
Ep. 129 | When being positive actually becomes negative, with Penny Williams
Ep. 145 | How to stop yelling at your kids, with Robbin McManne
Ep. 151 | What to do when your child gets in trouble at school, with Robert Tudisco, Esq.
Host: Moira Maybin – mother, educator, and advocate with late-diagnosed ADHD
Perfect for people who: need full transcripts; received their ADHD diagnosis later in life (i.e. not childhood); appreciate Friends references and – by default – light humor Topics covered by Moira include medication adjustments, ADHD in women, and hormones.
Hosts: Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster, co-founders of Impact Parents, authors, and certified parenting coaches
Perfect for: parents with ADHD; parents of kids with ADHD, anxiety, autism, and/or learning disabilities; people who don’t require full transcripts The podcast covers restricted diets, tech overwhelm, and co-parenting.
Episodes we recommend:
Ep. 20 | What difference does diagnosis make?
Ep. 28 | Gender and queer kids with neurodiversity
Ep. 56 | Missed diagnosis: Autism in girls
Dr. Ned Hallowell’s Wonderful World of Different: ADHD and Beyond
Host: Dr. Ned Hallowell – one of the world’s leading psychiatrists specializing in ADHD; ADHD advocate and educator; best-selling author
Perfect for people who: don’t require full transcripts;are long-time fans of Dr. Hallowell; enjoy listening to interviews with ADHD advocates and social media influencers; are looking for casual podcasts, as opposed to educational podcasts
Some of the ADHD guests on Dr. Hallowell’s podcast include:
ADHD content creator and illustrator, Dani Donovan
ADHD experts come together in this recorded webinar series to answer listener-submitted questions on all things ADD and ADHD. Episodes cover everything from symptoms to parenting to work.
One listener especially appreciates this free podcast and the resources it provides. “This is the best free resource I have found to date for ongoing personal education about ADHD. Some episodes are more relevant than others to me personally, but the content is consistently top-notch, with deep dives on particular aspects of ADHD research, treatment, and support. ADDitude, thanks for making this freely available to people, it’s a great gift to me and (I’m sure) to many others!”
Kristen Carder is an ADHD life coach with a podcast dedicated to helping those with ADHD find organization and time management skills. Episodes deal with specific symptoms of ADHD: making a mistake (and thinking it’s the end of the world), time management, setting goals, and more. This podcast is for those who want actionable steps they can take to manage their symptoms better.
Take it from one listener, who describes how she struggled to understand herself before her diagnosis. “I felt shame. I felt alone. Kristen has provided a resource that I will be forever grateful for. She has pushed me to learn more about myself and what it means to be neurodivergent and that it’s not a shameful diagnosis or something to be embarrassed about.”
Coaching those with ADHD is pretty important to Eric Tivers. As a clinical social worker and psychotherapist with ADHD himself, he wants his clients to know two things: “One, that I understand and can verbalize your thought process, and two, that I care. I view the therapeutic process as a relationship-building opportunity and consequently, I don’t approach it with preconceived notions.”
Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., M.S, is an ADHD/Executive Function consultant, coach, and speaker, who also has ADHD. He interviews top experts, parents, and teachers about dealing with ADHD, whether with themselves or with students. It explores ADHD in childhood and an in-depth look at its effect on families.
Ari Tuckman is a psychologist who’s been working with ADHD clients for years and specializes in diagnosing and treating children, teens, and adults with ADHD. He also is a certified sex therapist and works in couples therapy, but his podcast is more about ADHD in general.
“Whenever I meet a new client with ADHD, I always feel compelled to tell her a million things that can help her understand her ADHD and enjoy life more,” he writes on his website. This podcast, he says, is those million things. It also offers tips and strategies about making your ADHD work for you. “ADHD takes away your ability to be consistent, so the information and strategies in this book and this podcast are here to give you back some of that consistency,” he says.
This two-for-one podcast duo comes from the Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder organization (CHADD) and provides tips and strategies for anyone dealing with ADHD or working with a loved one with ADHD.
CHADD was founded in 1987 in response to the isolation and frustration many parents felt about their childrens’ diagnosis. Now, they work to provide resources and information to parents, teachers, and adults dealing with ADHD.
Dr. Barbara Cohen spent years thinking something was wrong with her. It took years of calling it everything else – anxiety, depression, panic attacks – to finally get to the root of her ADHD and executive function issues. She created the podcast, and her coaching series, to help those diagnosed with ADHD find success in their life, relationships, and more.
“Imagine a life where you invite in your unannounced neighbor instead of keeping them on the front porch to avoid the Clutter Walk of Shame,” Dr. Cohen writes. “Imagine a life where your plans become actions, your calendar is your best friend (not your worst enemy), and your kids finally believe your promise is a promise.”
Your host, Dr. Lola Day is a physician, entrepreneur, podcaster, work/life coach, and mother of three. Her life hasn’t always been balanced—she spent years navigating burnout and feeling constantly overwhelmed. But using her signature strategies, she has been able to do more with her time, manage her ADHD, and live a fulfilling and balanced life. She wanted to empower other neurodivergent entrepreneurial women and moms to do the same, and thus the LollieTasking podcast was born.
After years of learning from amazing moms, and finally embracing what she refers to as her “ADHD superpowers,” Day was able to conquer procrastination and burnout by learning proper internal and external accountability, harnessing the right structures for her needs, and putting methods in place needed for sustainability in her daily life. This podcast is all about her mission to empower and educate other neurodivergent women and moms so they can do the same!
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These podcast channels will provide you with helpful strategies, information and support to manage ADHD and live a more fulfilling life.
It can feel like your mind is a prison, and you’re the only one with the key to unlock the door. Anxiety and depression can be incredibly daunting and overwhelming, making it seem like you’ll never be able to break free. But the truth is, you don’t have to live like this forever. You can take back the control you’ve been missing, and with the right tools and help, you can overcome anxiety and depression and start to live a happier, healthier life. It starts with taking the first steps, however small, and understanding where to find the resources and support you need. Together, we can regain the freedom that has been taken away from us and start to live the life we deserve.
What is Anxiety and Depression?
At its most basic level, anxiety is a feeling of worry, fear, and uneasiness, particularly about an upcoming event or situation. It’s completely normal to feel anxious at times, as it’s a natural reaction to everyday stresses and can even be beneficial, helping us stay safe. But for some people, feelings of anxiety become a regular part of their everyday lives, interfering with everyday activities, work, and relationships. If you have persistent feelings of anxiety that disrupt your life and affect your mental health, you may be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. There are many types of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. If anxiety disorders aren’t treated, they can become chronic and last a long time, even indefinitely. Depression is characterized by feelings of sadness, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, and a general loss of energy. These feelings can also include hopelessness and a pessimistic outlook on the future, along with a wide range of physical symptoms. People with depression often have trouble getting out of bed, concentrating, sleeping, and making decisions. Some people with depression also have anxiety.
Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression
Signs of anxiety – A racing heart, sweaty palms, difficulty sleeping, headaches and muscle tension are some of the signs of anxiety. Feeling constantly on edge and easily irritated are other signs of anxiety. Depression – Feeling sad, hopeless, or that you have no energy to do anything are common signs of depression. Caring less about things that used to matter to you, such as hobbies and relationships, are other signs of depression.
Causes of Anxiety and Depression
There isn’t one specific cause for anxiety and depression, but there are a number of different factors that can contribute. Some of these factors include:
Genetics – If you have a family history of anxiety or depression, you are at a higher risk of developing the same.
Hormonal changes – Hormonal changes during and after pregnancy can cause anxiety and depression in mothers.
New or increased stress – A lot of stress can cause anxiety and depression.
Major life events – Major life events, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or moving to a new place, can also cause anxiety and depression.
Common Treatments for Anxiety and Depression
There are many different types of treatment available for anxiety and depression. It’s important to find the right treatment for you, so you can feel better as quickly as possible. Types of treatment include:
Medication – Anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications can be helpful for treating anxiety and depression.
Therapy – There are many different types of therapy. The right therapy for you will depend on your specific needs.
Mindfulness – Mindfulness is a type of therapy that teaches you to be in tune with your emotions and thoughts, while being nonjudgmental towards yourself.
Self-help – There are many self-help techniques and tools that can help you with anxiety and depression.
Dealing with Anxiety and Depression on Your Own
Exercise – Exercise is great for managing both anxiety and depression. However, it’s important to find an exercise routine that works for you, as everyone responds differently.
Get Enough Sleep – Sleep is an important part of recovery and can also help prevent anxiety and depression.
Make Sure You Eat Healthy – Eating a healthy diet can help improve your mental health.
Practice Positive Self-Talk – Being kind to yourself is important and can help you manage anxiety and depression.
Spend Time with Friends – Spending time with people you trust can help with your recovery and gives you a chance to take a break from stress and worry.
Talk to Someone – Talking to a friend, family member, or a therapist can help you manage your anxiety and depression.
Practice Mindfulness – Although it’s not a quick fix, mindfulness can make a significant difference over time.
Stay Active – Staying active is important for your mental health, especially if you have anxiety or depression.
Seeking Professional Help for Anxiety and Depression
If you are experiencing anxiety or depression, it is important to seek help as soon as possible. While you can take steps to try and manage your symptoms on your own, it is often best to seek professional help. There are many different types of therapy and counseling that can help with anxiety and depression. It may be helpful to discuss your options with a therapist when deciding which type of therapy to pursue. At Valiant Minds Counseling, LLC we will work with you on developing a treatment plan that is unique to your needs and guides you on your path of wellness.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Anxiety and Depression
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common forms of psychotherapy used to treat anxiety and depression. CBT is based on the idea that our emotions and behaviors are influenced by how we think about things. CBT can help you change the way you think about things in a way that leads to better feelings and fewer or less severe symptoms. In CBT for anxiety, you work with a therapist to identify the thoughts and beliefs that make you anxious. You then learn techniques to challenge and change these thoughts. CBT for depression is similar, but the goal is to change your thoughts and beliefs to be more positive. Below are the most common types of negative thinking and ways to redirect these thoughts to alleviate your feelings of anxiety and depression.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Seeing things in black-or-white. No shades of grey. If things aren’t perfect, you see them as a failure.
For example: You started a new diet, and for the first few days, you’re eating according to plan. And then, you have a sliver of apple pie. You berate yourself for not being perfect and tell yourself, “I’ve blown it, I might as well just eat the whole pie! I’m such a failure!”
Overgeneralization
One thing happens, and you believe that it “always” happens to you. Or you want something to happen, and when it doesn’t, you believe it “never” happens to you. These thoughts are upsetting and set up a cycle of defeat.
For example: You’ve asked someone out on a date, and they say no. Your automatic response is, “I’ll never find someone to go out with me.”
Mental Filter
Of all the things going well, you pick one negative detail out and focus all your attention on it.
For example: You received 20 feedback forms after facilitating a workshop. 19 of the forms were filled with positive statements about you and your work. One form noted that you could have managed the time better. All you thought about was that one “negative” statement while ignoring all the other positive feedback.
Discounting the Positive
You often feel inadequate or unappreciated because you ignore positive experiences.
For example: You sang beautifully on stage but told yourself it wasn’t good enough.
Jumping to Conclusions
How often have you jumped to a conclusion based on a feeling or thought without any evidence to support it?
Mind reading example: You seem to know exactly how someone is thinking. You often interpret an action or response and conclude that you’re not liked or that someone is angry with you.
Fortune-telling example: You already know you’re going to struggle with something before it has even started
Magnification/minimization
Your special magnifying glass can magnify an issue, making it bigger than it really is. Or you’re able to minimize the situation and your positive qualities.
For example: You agreed to pick up milk on your way home from work. With a lot of things on your mind, you forgot. In your mind, you become the most forgetful, unreliable, disorganized person there is!
Emotional Reasoning
This cognitive distortion allows you to believe that whatever you’re feeling, it must be so.
For example: You’re anxious about driving so you’ve concluded that driving is unsafe.
“Should” statements
You have a clear idea about how things “should” or shouldn’t” be. When they don’t turn out that way, we blame ourselves or others.
For example: “I should have done it my way instead of listening to you. It’s your fault it didn’t work out.”
Labelling
This distortion is like all-or-nothing thinking. You label yourself in a negative way when you’ve done something you or others don’t like. You don’t realize that you are not your behaviour. Similarly, when someone else does something you don’t like or makes a mistake, you label them, writing them off as if their behaviour is who they are.
For example: You give someone directions that turn out to be wrong. Instead of recognizing you’ve made a mistake, you label yourself – “I’m such an idiot!” Or, you give someone else a label when he/she disappoints you or makes a mistake – “She’s a liar!”
Personalization and blame
You hold yourself responsible for events or things you don’t have 100% control over. This distortion involves the blame game – when you blame something or someone else, you don’t have to look at your part in the situation.
For example: Your child gets into trouble at school, and instead of being curious about what happened and why, you blame yourself for being a terrible parent. Or, you blame others for your child’s challenges at school: “It’s the teacher’s fault that my child is in trouble. She’s a terrible teacher.”
5 steps to change your thinking
Our thoughts create our feelings. Changing our thoughts changes how we feel.
This simple and yet challenging formula is what will turn these Cognitive Distortions around. The strategies outlined below challenge each one so that you can begin to think more effectively and realistically. As you practice these, you’ll find yourself feeling better – about yourself and others.
Step 1: Identify Your Distortions
Keep a journal. As you become familiar with the 10 Cognitive Distortions, notice which ones you seem to favour. Writing down your thoughts and the corresponding distortions in your journal help you keep track of what you’re thinking about and how you’re feeling.
Step 2: Challenge Your Thinking
It’s important to challenge your thoughts because not all of our thoughts are true! As you write down your thoughts and the corresponding distortion, ask yourself: Is this really true? Do I know this to be true, for sure? Have I checked the facts?
Take a step back and assess the situation again. Continue challenging your thinking with other questions such as “Am I really a bad person?” or “Could it be that she was doing the best she could and just made a mistake?” or “When would this not be true?”
Step 3:Compassionate Self-talk
We are often extremely hard on ourselves. Our self-talk is harsh, negative, and sometimes abusive. When you think about how you would speak to a good friend, chances are you’d never say the things you say to yourself to your friend.
For each distortion you’ve identified, write down how you would respond to a good friend. Then, practice using this more compassionate self-talk with yourself.
Step 4: Seek Support
Find a friend or someone you trust to help you challenge your assumptions and distortions. The right questions can help you shift your perspective from black or white to shades of grey! Creating some flexibility in your thinking can help you lower your stress, feel less anxious and shift away from depression.
Step 5: Positive/Negative Outcomes
Self-assessment is key to finding the mental and emotional freedom you’re looking for as you challenge your own cognitive distortions. By asking yourself to assess the positive and negative outcome of sticking with your perspective, you’re able to decide whether it’s worth keeping or changing it.
Asking these questions will help:
How will it help me or hurt me if I believe this distortion?
Will it move me closer to being the person I want to be or farther away?
If I dig my heels in and continue to believe this thought, how will it impact my relationship(s)?
How do I feel about myself?
Does believing this distortion help or harm my depression, confidence, self-worth, anxiety, etc.?
Challenging your cognitive distortions does take practice and patience, but at Valiant Minds Counseling, LLC we guarantee that your life will become so much better as you take control of your thoughts instead of allowing them to control you.
Mindfulness Strategies for Anxiety and Depression
Mindfulness is a type of therapy that helps you be more in tune with your emotions and thoughts, while being nonjudgmental towards yourself. There are a number of different exercises and practices you can try to help with anxiety and depression.
Notice Your Breathing – Take a moment to notice your breathing. Focus on your breath going in and out.
Grounding- Take a moment and notice the environment around you. How many items are yellow? How many are green? What sounds can you here?
Practice Gratitude – Acknowledge what you’re grateful for.
Exercise – Exercise is great for managing both anxiety and depression.
Sleep – Sleep is an important part of recovery and can also help prevent anxiety and depression.
Eat Healthy – Eating a healthy diet can help improve your mental health.
Self-Care Practices for Anxiety and Depression
It can be helpful to think about your mental health as something you need to take care of, like your physical health. There are lots of things you can do to help maintain good mental health. Some of these include:
Pay Attention to Your Environment
Getting outside – Getting outside can help you feel better.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation can help lower your stress and improve your mood.
Spend Time with Friends – Spending time with people you trust can help you manage your anxiety and depression. –
Write in a Journal – Journaling can help you process your emotions and thoughts.
Finding Support for Anxiety and Depression
Whether you decide to seek professional help or try to manage your anxiety and depression on your own, it is important to know that you have support. Having someone to talk to can make a big difference in how you feel and can help you take control of your mental health. You can find support in a number of ways, including: – Speaking with a family member or friend – Talking to a therapist – Joining a support group – Reading self-help books – Talking to a religious leader – Talking to your doctor.
Conclusion
Anxiety and depression can be incredibly overwhelming, but the truth is, you don’t have to live like this forever. The most important thing is to start taking action and taking control of your mental health. It is possible to regain the freedom that has been taken away from you and start to live the life you deserve. With the right tools and help, you can overcome anxiety and depression and live a happier, healthier life. It starts with taking the first steps, however small, and understanding where to find the resources and support you need. Together, we can regain the freedom that has been taken away from us and start to live the life we
It doesn’t take a whole new routine to instill a dose of happiness into your day—but it does take a little self awareness.
1. Be grateful for the good & the bad.
Research shows, grateful people are happy people. It’s also important to understand that happiness is not the absence of negative feelings. Gratitude is a focus on the present and appreciation for what we have now, rather than wanting more. Embracing gratitude, as a state of mind, can have a positive affect on all aspects of life including our happiness and overall satisfaction.
Up your mood by taking a moment daily to think of your world with gratitude. Start a gratitude journal or take a walk in nature paying attention to all the gifts around us. Think of a person that helps you on a daily or weekly basis – a spouse, parent, friend, pet, teacher, cleaner, or babysitter.
Quiz: How grateful are you? Take the Gratitude Quiz published by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.
2. Flex your creativity muscles.
Do you have a passion or hobby? It doesn’t have to be a formal activity, simply engaging in creative thinking can enhance well-being by enhancing cognitive flexibility and problem-solving abilities. A recent study out of New Zealand, published in The Journal of Positive Psychology explains that creative activities can trigger an “upward spiral” of well-being.
“Practicing an art — no matter how well or badly — is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” – Kurt Vonnegut.
Make some space in your day to create, even if it’s just for the sake of it. Try exploring unique textures or even natural and recycled materials to make something for your home or a friend. Looking for some tips on how to add more creativity into your daily life? Read this list of 101 creative habits to explore.
3. Get connected, Stay connected.
Being apart of something larger than yourself can help bring perspective as well as a sense of belonging. Scientific evidence strongly suggests that feeling like you belong and generally feel close to other people is a core psychological need; essential to feeling satisfied with your life. The pleasures of social life register in our brains much the same way physical pleasure does.
So take the time to nurture a friendship that is important to you. Make an extra effort to show you care, send a card, make a plan to have lunch, or give them a call and really listen to what they say. Smile and say hello to a stranger. Tell a story when someone asks how your day is going. Notice how you feel when you share something with someone new.
Struggling and need support? Join a support group and talk to others that can relate. Find your tribe: support.therapytribe.com – a free online support community brought to you by TherapyTribe.
Tip: Check out the wellness tracker. It’s a simple but powerful tool designed to help you remember the promises you make to yourself. As you complete wellness activities your tree will blossom, and so will you!
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